She was mine

                                 
                                   She was mine

Holding her warmth decaying hand; I screamed; but no one heard, “she was mine”, my tears slipping on her hand, I scream “don’t go”, “don’t leave me behind”, I love you, I miss you, don’t go.

But nobody heard; I wonder if she did, I held her hand and hoped she will hold mine; for a second I thought she did.

I watched, I watched the light go out from her eyes, I watched her mortal body go empty, I cried.

Questions pass through my mind: have I done enough? Have I told her I love you enough? Was she happy?

All I could think of and say was “I am sorry”

I left you when you needed me most, and now you left me for good

“Don’t go” I said, “you are my everything”

No matter what I said, saying and will say could never bring her back, letting go of her hand was the hardest thing I ever did and would ever do, she was mine, mine to hold, mine to care about, she was my soul, my smile, mine to hold and never let go, she was my mother.

I opened my mouth, but no voice came out, I looked at her face; that face which saw and withstood a sea of emotions and now; it’s cold and lifeless. I looked at the walls that she made a home and suddenly they were as her face; pale and empty

I was backless, an easy target; I was weak.

She was my shield; I was protected by her, for her.

I took one last look at her and missed her hug; the one I could never have again

She was mine;

My everything;

My mother.

                                               Copyright 2017 by Nour Eissa



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