Day 4: self discovery challenge
That is a question that I would consider very personal to me and I might not be as deliberate as I always am but I am going to give it a try.
Proud a word that has been increasing in its wealth and also in its capacity, one of the hardest things is to be proud of Yourself.
You can be proud of your nationality, your team, your friend, your family members or all of them at once, but once that question is propelled towards you, you begin to think and travel through moments of your life; which of those I am proud myself for doing for saying or maybe for not doing or not saying; being proud doesn’t necessarily have to be related with actions, sometimes it could appear in personal psychological triumphs maybe getting over a hard time in your life or facing yourself with its bad habits or unacceptable properties, we are all flawed in the most different of ways, but it’s how we deal with ourselves that defines how proud we are at least to me it is.
We should be proud of ourselves for the little things that we fought ourselves not to do because little things in the end of the day add up to measure bigger than the rather large things we talked with ourselves about, it’s a constant fight to keep being proud because it never comes easily nor does it come cheap.
Announcing that you are proud is a declaration of you succeeding, of achieving and both come at a very high cost.
As I said in one the articles I wrote related to this challenge I will always be my largest work in progress. Not because I am not proud but because I can be more proud, I can still work and adjust and evolve; and most of the time I am not doing it right but trying helps me think that I am on the right track, now in that journey your best friends will be setbacks and relapses! Yes relapses the word that haunts everyone breaking through something either new or old the big old question of what if?
Trust me when I say that this question haunts us all and when it actually happens it’s way less painful than you imagined it to be but that only happens if you thought about relapses and your plan to fight them. Actually fighting those moments is the one thing that you can be most proud of, because not giving up is clapping worthy and for all the people out there who are reading this who have went through this or even are going through it just keep fighting, just keep trying to hold that thing, just try to stand, those moments will pass I know they seem like forever but you can go through them and be proud of that. I watched a video today talking about bullying and that might seem like an off point but bear with me; the video’s main point is that we are our biggest bullies and isn’t that the same that we are our biggest fears, concerns, we even are our biggest setbacks so fighting ourselves fighting those bulling torturing moments is pride worthy because when those horrendous moments pass we actually start to reimagine them, their reasons and more importantly their doorways and triggers, why did I have that weak moment?
In the video it mentions that once you start identifying with your inner bully it immediately starts to diminish, because when your mind starts to observe these issues, those words everything gets crystal clear and you are no longer afraid of that trigger so you eliminate it and that in itself is a triumph, because it is never and never will be an easy thing to face your fears your internal triggers but as I said being proud has a very high cost and when is achieved and the cost is paid it is one of the most rewarding things you can encounter in your life, because once you reach it no one can take it from you even Yourself
I apologize for probably side tracking from the subject a lot but when I write I like to allow my thoughts to wonder through the dimensions of the subject in hand.
Image from Books And Writing Amino: Raikidan
Copyright 2017 by Nour Eissa
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