Journaling Series: 3rd Log


A word from the dictionary and what does it mean to me.

The word I found was ‘Endeavor’; its verb means trying hard to achieve something and the noun means an attempt to achieve a goal.
By all means this wasn’t planned. Now I didn’t find this word in the dictionary I found it in an application called Vocabulary Builder I opened it and there was my word but since it has a meaning to me I am glad that I found it.
I could call myself an endeavor person I really work hard for the things I want, I don’t give up easily and if I do give up then usually it’s a sign that I really didn’t want it this much to justify fighting for it, which is probably a good sign.
Now being endeavor doesn’t mean just trying; in my point of view it also means battling through hardships and tough situations that we think we can’t reach the other side of, but we do it anyway, We fall and fall then We rise again, reborn but not new, We rise experienced, We rise wanting it more, Fighting for it more, We rise. 
On the coin’s other side I found the antonym of this word which was idleness and laziness, again words that mean something to me other than their original meaning, don’t we all suffer from being lazy sometimes?  But the real time we feel bad about it is when we find ourselves not working hard enough or even not working at all for something that we want, so suddenly it feels distant, it feels difficult and we feel more tired more not willing to fight we lose our drive, our hope of ever achieving it, we stop.
This stop doesn’t necessarily define our defeat this stop could redefine us all over again; because we are at our weakest, we are locked in our dark room no more floors down, there’s nothing but a single small light above our heads and that light in this darkness that’s our choice we can propel ourselves from this darkness to it and ignite our spark for that thing that slipped away, we charge ahead, full speed we are reborn but not new, we rise more experienced than before, we rise.
To me endeavor is both fighting and failing and rediscovering the will to fight again, It’s a cycle only an endeavor person can go through no matter how weak, tired, pinned down you are right now just remember that you are endeavor, and you can RISE.

Picture from the application: Vocabulary Builder all rights of the picture goes to them

                        Copyright 2017 by Nour Eissa

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